Funny Things on The Road Vol. #2

Every day, in every way, people seem to find sillier things to partake in on the roads of the world, so be sure you have the right insurance to cover you in every situation.
We’ve all seen people stopping in the middle of the highway to ‘discuss’ an accident. All logic seems to go out of the window in these instances. Instead of self preservation instincts telling them to move themselves and, if possible, their vehicles to safety off to the side, out of the flow of speeding traffic, they somehow think it better to just stand right where a car or semi noticing the accident too late could slam on it’s brakes and turn them into Swiss cheese.  Don’t be like them – stay alive, be smart and if you are ever in an accident, instead of getting out to yell at everyone, first move your car off to the side, well away from traffic and danger and if you want to ‘talk’ to anyone(please don’t yell, no one means to be in an accident, and we are all imperfect), do it even further away from traffic, off further to the side, behind some trees or something like that. This will keep you safe from careening rubber neckers who might inadvertently add to your dismay by becoming an additional entity in the collision, turning it into a pile-up.

One of my other personal favorite works of roadside art cum tragedy is man chasing a dog, followed closely by woman chasing a cat. How do these animals escape from their vehicles, and if and when they do, should the owners take it as a hint or are these fugitive felines jimmying the locks on their mommy’s cabriolet and making a break for it or are these daring dogs passing out escape routes to each other at the dog park the night before?  Whatever it is, there seems to be a fairly high success rate on the freeways of America, isn’t there? Hasn’t everyone seen at least a few animals being chased by panicked owners in their life driving on the roads and highways of our fair country?

Animals do appear to be pretty daring and, with cats at least, they do have very strong survival instincts from the moment they find freedom. We had a cabin on a lake when I was a kid and at the end of one summer we couldn’t find my cat so we had to leave.  I thought he was dead, but when we came back at Christmas, he came wandering out of the forest like it was no big thing, saying “What’s up, where’ve you guys been – it’s been crazy up here!”
Don’t open your windows too far, and always be cautious if you open a door or hatch as they are sneaky creatures.  If you do lose an animal in transit, remain calm and before you start running in the lanes of hot-headed metal pedaled motorists, realize you are putting y our own life at risk when you do.  Yes you love your animal, but what about your family/kids?  You could be depriving them of your existence when you make that step into the speedy unknown. And always pack treats or have a fish, bird or t-bone steak handy to lure them back that way instead.

Mike Machina has written for 944 Magazine/944.com, Comcast, The Onion and Westword and has been a car enthusiast since he was first able to get behind the wheel of a truck on his friend’s farm in elementary school. He specializes in blogging about classic cars, everyday driving tips, maintenance, insurance and car humor.

Leave a comment